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Sep. 22nd, 2011 | 03:54 pm
mood: determined
music: TearDrop, Massive Attack

Even with Dooms day months away I know the Holidays are coming and that as well makes me nervous for fact my kids havent been seen in almost a year. What a terrible mother I must be. But some good news is my parents told me because I have been trying so hard, and really trying they want to pay for my school. YAY! Now I can go to my CNA classes and get a decent job. They are going to pay for it as long as I pass both class and test, which I know I will. This is going to get me a good jump on getting the kids. I know it is a long journey ahead, I have no idea the trials I will face But I am more then willing to go what ever distance. My kids will have me in their life again. I swear on my lace. But to keep me from being depressed so much and help my eye's stay dry I've decided on a new dress. Now that Luke unemployment
has run out and I still have no job, (been looking for two years thought I had one upon moving to NC that's why I moved.... but no and been stuck with out one since still looking.) During the hours of the day in which you can not job hunt physically I have been driving my self hard online looking. Then I relized the other day if I keep going like I was I would not just burn out but I would just get more and more discouraged. See, it's not quite time for the hoiliday hires yet and when it comes about I know I'll be able to find something. So head remains as high as it can go.

In the mean time to keep my hopes up, I'm making a new dress! Well, skirt and top but I plan to wear it to my first meet with the Carolitas!!!!   I'm so excited to meet everyone and  have a fun day, just hoping I have the cash flow to go! I stole a sheet from my mom, ( it's huge so I think I'll have enough fabric) and a shirt from my dad I am going to re-make into a loli outfit. *nods* Now I need lace, trimming, buttons.... lol I always forget how much goes into these things till I sit to make one. I made my sister Emily a lolita dress, (look in first post for info on all parties of my life........) Will I was going to; till she told me how she wanted her Lolita dress to not be the muffin shape, how she didn't want sleeve's just strings, and how it was to have no bows or lace.  O.O *gasp* Blasphemy! So I made her the stright no bow holding little string top of a dress and shockingly it didn't turn out right. To my eye's anyway. To hers, she got the little high school homecoming gown she wanted. =.=*     But on better notes...... My new dress is going to have some county feel to it and I plan to keep pictures up dated in my scrap book. My last dress took me a week to sew by hand but I did it like crazy non stop. Luke swore I was sewing 20 hours a day for a week.... I say he's wrong. >.>  I will explain everything there so I can show my picture with it, no use to do it here. 

Luke and I have also been thinking about where we want to move and yahoo answered it for us the other day, Raleigh NC. Suppose to be top city to live in right now with lots of parks, (dogs) and museums, (Luke) and other Lolita's close enough by, (me XD ) so it fits for all of us for now. Plus it has nice schools and it must have places that are hiring, CNA's are always in need because it's a lousy job. I know it is, but someone has to do it and plus I'm not planning on staying there forever, this is just a stage to my grand plan. 

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